It’s not you, it’s him

I watched a video the other day that really bummed me out. In this video from Babe, a girl interviews different guys about the last time they had sex. When asking if they each came during that last sesh, each answered yes. But when the interviewer asked about the girl, the answers were mostly no.

I know from experience that some guys literally use girls just to get themselves off, but to hear it so blatantly both pissed me off and broke my heart.

The fucker in the blue button-up particularly pissed me off. When asked how he knew sex was over, he replied “I came and that’s it.” When the interviewer asked why he didn’t check to see if she was finished, he said “Cuz I was done and that’s it.”


Why do we assume that since the guy is finished, sex is over? I’m sorry, but fuck that.  Sex shouldn’t automatically be over once the guy is finished. It should be done when both parties are satisfied.

Personally, I will speak up if I’m needing more from the person I’m with. I don’t have too much of an issue with that. But if the guy isn’t willing to try or is never concerned with your pleasure, you have a real problem.

This needs to be a mutual thing. One of my friends literally broke up with a guy because he refused to get her off and I applaud that. And it wasn’t that he couldn’t, he just didn’t care to. He told her he didn’t think it was “you go, I go” situation. But why the hell wouldn’t it be? Aren’t my orgasms just as important as yours?

I don’t think most guys will really get what’s going on here. Unless you’ve been in a situation where the person you’re having sex with literally finishes and immediately gets dressed and asks you to leave, you will not fully understand. This shit rings true to me and it’s not okay.

As women, we need to speak up. We may not get there every time, but we can’t have partners that constantly leave us hanging. We deserve better than that.

What do you think about this video?


  1. Kaytie

    October 16, 2017 at 3:57 pm


  2. A.J.

    October 17, 2017 at 6:32 am

    Thank you for saying this!!! This needs to be talked about more. It’s maddening how many guys are plain selfish and inconsiderate in bed. Could you imagine if things were reversed? No guy would ever stand for it, so why should us women allow men to treat us this way. Definitely not okay!

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