AND he stole all your weed?!

I’m not trying to steal your thunder, Sad Girl Bailey, but I have the best ghosting story OF ALL TIME. Last summer I was in Vegas with my sister and she met a cute guy outside a club where 50 Cent was playing. Don’t judge. I soon became the 7th wheel in a group of strangers. I was not having the best time until my sister pulled this hot guy out of a crowd and introduced him to me. He said “Ello! I’m Daniel. How you going?” in the most amazing Australian accent. I died.

Daniel and I ended up making out and dancing to 50 Cent together. He was the best kisser of all time and it felt like we were in a movie; in one of those super passionate scenes where they’re just melting into each other and he’s running his hands through her hair. It was a whole thing.

Super out of character for me, but we slept together and I thought “did I seriously just have my first one night stand in Vegas with some hot Australian?” He told me had a rule where he usually doesn’t sleep with someone until they’ve been on at least 10 dates. He took me to breakfast the next morning and stalled every time I tried to go back to my hotel room. He promised I’d see him again, but I didn’t believe him because cool shit like that just doesn’t happen to me.

A couple days later, Daniel messaged me on Instagram (since he didn’t have an international phone). “How close are you to Huntington Beach?” “20 minutes. Why?” “I know you’re a super successful working woman, but can I please have the pleasure of coming to see you?”

I was ecstatic and shocked. Daniel came over and we stayed up all night talking. He was going to the east coast for a bit, but would come back to Orange County/LA after. He was seriously considering moving here. His friends left Miami for New York and he decided to come back to Orange County to see me sooner instead. He asked what area he should get a hotel in, but I told him he could crash at my place until he figured out his next move.

We had the most amazing time together during his stay. We were in our own little world and I felt like I was in a movie the entire time. I took him to a work event and my work family LOVED him. They said it looked like we had known each other for years. He met two of my best, most protective friends and they adored him too. My friend asked me “wouldn’t that be a crazy story to tell your kids – that you met at a 50 Cent concert at 1:00 in the morning?” I was walking around like the heart-eyes emoji all week, blown away by how great he was and how much my friends liked him.

When I was at work, he’d message me things like “I hope you’re having a great day, but hurry home so I can make you dinner, beautiful human” and “miss you already, magical soul.” One day when I came home from work, he didn’t hear me say hello when I walked in. He was Skyping his parents in Australia and telling them how happy he was that he met me and how great he thought I was. My heart melted.

His best friend was back in LA for a week, so Daniel took the train up to see him. He messaged me saying he’d be back in a couple days because we had plans for that Saturday night. I told him to stay in LA the whole week because he didn’t know when he’d be able to see his best friend again. He told me I was the coolest girl ever.

And then he told me he left my key under the mat.

I thought that was weird because when he left that morning, he was planning on coming back in 2 days. I came home and ALL of his stuff was gone. I’m talking giant traveler’s backpack, duffle bag – everything. Everything except a stupid fucking Pikachu stuffed toy on my dresser in place of my weed. I messaged him and jokingly asked if he ghosted me and stole my drugs. He responded “Never, pretty girl! I borrowed it. I’ll see you soon, beautiful soul!” First of all, you don’t “borrow” FOUR GRAMS of weed…but I digress.

I told him I’d come up to LA to meet his friend since he had met so many of mine. He said that sounded great. I was in LA at my sister’s house, messaging him to see if we were still meeting for lunch. I didn’t hear back. A couple hours later, I asked if everything was okay and he said they were super hungover and didn’t want to leave their hotel room.

I pretty much never heard from him again after that. I messaged him a couple days later asking what was going on and he nonchalantly told me he was boarding a plane to Chicago for a potential job. What the actual fuck just happened? Just a few days prior, he asked if I could help him find a place in Orange County because he’d rather live closer to me than in LA! I called Bailey hysterically scream crying.

I sent him a message saying he didn’t have to say and do all the cute shit that he did. He didn’t have to take a million pictures with me. He didn’t have to tell his family about me and say he wanted to meet my mom when she was in town. He didn’t have to bail on New York to spend time with me. I told him this was the worst I had ever been lead on in my life. He responded with some bullshit about being on his own journey and doing what’s best for him. He told me anyone else would be lucky to have me. And then he blocked me on Instagram.

Fast forward, and homeboy is engaged to a girl he met the week after he ghosted me. They look exactly alike, right down to their stupid bleached haircuts. It’s really creepy. They traveled all over the world together and he proposed to her within a few months. I guess his “journey” was finding someone who looks exactly like him. Maybe she’s absolutely lovely. Maybe she’s a complete sociopath too. Maybe he and I didn’t work out because 50 Cent is actually my true soulmate.

Bailey told me one day I’d be able to look back on this and laugh and she was right. It’s been a year and I think it’s hilarious. You want to know the best part? Every single person I have shared this story with listens intently the whole time and once it’s finished, the only response they have is “AND he stole all your weed?!”

Sad Girl Club – In Da Club by 50 Cent

1 Comment

  1. @PlateByState

    July 31, 2017 at 7:17 pm

    I greatly enjoyed reading this! And I absolutely cannot believe this happened! What a horribly hilarious thing to happen; truly the ultimate ghosting nightmare, but so glad you can laugh and write about it now!

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