Catch Flights, Not Feelings
Aaron was in LA for a few weeks working on a film project when we connected on Bumble. We hit it off via text and decided to meet for drinks. I remember texting my girlfriends from the bathroom, half-buzzed, saying how incredibly cute and nice he was. He kissed me in the parking lot before I drove home and boy, I was hooked.
We spent two more amazing days together before I left for Hawaii and he went home to Seattle. Aaron stayed over that last night and everything was slow and sweet. He kissed me goodbye the next morning and said it wouldn’t be the last time we saw each other. I was heartbroken because I unexpectedly really liked him and it seemed like he felt the same way. We continued to talk every day and about 2 weeks later, I suggested I come visit. He said I should book a flight and couldn’t wait to kiss me, so I planned a trip for two weeks later.
I should have known things could drastically change in such a short period of time. Aaron went from texting me all the time to hardly reaching out. It felt like things were fizzling, so I touched base to make it clear I was coming up to see him. He said we were on the same page, so up to Seattle I flew.
We had dinner plans for that first night and Aaron bailed the day before. His texts were spotty and I had no idea when I was going to see him. This was concerning considering I travelled out of state to see him. He didn’t come see me at all the first day and I wasn’t super thrilled when he finally showed up day 2 at 1pm. I had flown across 3 states and was only in town for 3 days. Why wasn’t he in hurry to see me? It was after we went to lunch and he didn’t pay for my food that I really felt like something was wrong.
If we were in LA, I probably could have gracefully let this all go. I can take a hint, but he let me fly into another state to see him. Aaron had every opportunity to tell me not to come. He could have even told me he started seeing someone and I would have had 0 expectations. His behavior was not cool and I had to know what the fuck was going on. I asked if anything had happened because it felt like seeing me was not a priority to him. Aaron basically said sorry not sorry. Great. We somehow pushed through the awkwardness and planned to go out that evening with my friends.
The time came for us to go out and Aaron was nowhere to be found. He knew what time we were meeting and I still hadn’t heard from him as we were walking out the door. Over an hour later he let me know he had fallen asleep and was trying to rally. We were 10 minutes away and I even offered to come to his neighborhood, but he wouldn’t get his ass out of bed. Fucking fantastic.
I was done. I sent him a text saying I was disappointed and surprised by how the weekend was going. Aaron’s response was less than nice. He played dumb and said he didn’t know he was the reason I came to Seattle. He thought we would hang out maybe a couple times and that was it. Are you fucking kidding me? My exact text was “I have other people to see, but I hope you know the main reason I’m coming is to see you.” Why the hell did he let me fly up there?
The next morning was spent crying my eyes out. I thought I’d be spending this weekend with the boy I talked to every day for the last month and a half. The boy who was so sweet in California and couldn’t wait to kiss me and show me around Seattle. I thought I’d be staying with him, but instead found myself sleeping alone on a twin air mattress.
I never got that kiss and I didn’t hear from him again.
The real eye-opening part of this trip when I hung out with my friend Brandon. After sobbing and nearly buying a $400 ticket home, I asked Brandon if he wanted to grab dinner. Within a few hours, he had the most wonderful evening planned for us.
He picked me up in a nice-ass Mercedes and drove us downtown to his neighborhood. We had craft cocktails at a trendy bar before our 8:15 dinner reservation on the water. We watched the sunset from our table and enjoyed an incredible dinner together. At the end of the night, Brandon called an Uber and came along to drop me off at my brother’s apartment.
It was so amazing to see the contrast between the asshole who ditched me and wouldn’t buy my tacos (after I paid for a flight to come see him) and dear Brandon, who treated me to the nicest night of my life. Brandon is just a friend, but this was probably nicer than any date I have ever been on.
And that’s what I want. I want someone who will cherish me and treat me like a lady. I like the guy who opens my car door and makes dinner reservations. I need a guy who plans out dinner perfectly so we can watch the pink sunset over the water. Whoever Brandon dates next is a lucky lady because she will be treated like a queen.
The next day I snagged an early flight, cried at the airport into my Chinese food, and went home with my tail between my legs. I feel like a fucking idiot and I’m pretty sure my whole family thinks I’m stupid too. It’s like I’m Gigi from He’s Just Not That Into You, except I don’t get Justin Long in the end.
When I told my friend Zack this story, he said you gotta risk big to win big. This trip left me feeling so discouraged that I don’t think I’ll take a risk like that ever again. It’s so hard to keep trying and keep getting shot down. I’m the common denominator in all these fucked up situations, but I really don’t know what I’m doing wrong.
I wish I’d never gone on that trip. I wish I could remember him fondly as the sweet Aaron I first met.
Sad Girl Song – Everything is Embarrassing by Sky Ferreira
Could have been my anything, now everything’s embarrassing.