All I got from Bumble was a UTI and Trust Issues
After a slew of disastrous Tinder dates, I decided to switch gears and jump on the Bumble train. From what I had heard, Bumble was a better alternative to Tinder, which has become more of a hookup app. I chatted with a couple guys and went on one date before I was matched with John.
On paper, John was everything I was looking for: He was tall, Christian, had great taste in music – the whole deal. On our first date, he told me he was divorced, but ready to date and looking for a relationship that would hopefully lead to marriage. This was music to my ears after months of dating guys who were anti-commitment. We instantly hit it off and ended date 1 with plans for date 2.
Date 2 was incredible and at the end of our 16-hour wine tasting adventure day with all his friends, we ended up sleeping together. We laid in bed talking and laughing so hard that our bellies hurt and tears filled our eyes. Things were looking good as we went on date 3 and purchased concert tickets for date 4.
The night before our next date, I received an unexpected phone call from John and instantly knew something was wrong. He told me he wasn’t ready for a relationship and wanted to cancel our plans for the following night. Great. Thanks for being honest, but you really didn’t know that 3 days ago when we were getting naked in my room?
I started scream crying like a maniac the moment I hung up the phone. The guy I was dating before John, a guy I actually really liked, had said the exact same words to me when he ended things. Hearing over and over again that you are not enough to make someone commit can really get to you and I completely broke down. How was this happening to me again so soon? I ran to my room, ripped the sheets off my bed in a fury, and started a load of laundry to wash away any piece of him that was still in my apartment.
So fast-forward a week and through some light lurking, I find that John had gotten a girlfriend 3 days after he ended things with me. The sob story about his divorce and not being ready was 100% bullshit. I’m an extremely honest person, so I was completely blindsided by this. A whirlwind of emotions came over me; I was angry, hurt, and shocked. I understand that things happen and people get back together, there was no need for him to lie. This situation was not ideal, but it could have been so different if he had just been honest with me. I felt like he had used me and thrown me away like an old mop.
On top of all this, the day after he broke it off with me, I ended up with my first UTI. So while John was running around with his new girlfriend, I was left alone with actual physical pain reminding me of the asshole who had just bailed on me. ADDED bonus: my new urgent care bill tacked on top of the money I had lost from the concert tickets. Seriously, fuck this guy.
I want to believe that he really didn’t know this was going to happen, but that would be crazy, right? Clearly something had been going on with this girl for a while. Honestly, I would not be too happy if I found out my boyfriend was sleeping with someone 5 days before we got together. Like really, you slept with me on Monday and got a girlfriend on Saturday? That is completely insane to me.
I wrote this piece months ago and still don’t totally know how to end it. This really affected me. It wasn’t even that I was sad over him, I just couldn’t believe someone thought they could use me and then try to deceive me like that. I’m not an idiot and I’m not this girl you can try on for size before you get the person you actually want. I am not a space filler.
To John, I really hope you have learned to be honest, especially with your girlfriend. Treat her better than you treated me. She deserves that.
Sad Girl Song – Candles by Daughter
We both know I’ll never be your lover, I only bring the heat. Company under covers, filling space in your sheets.